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The things you care about may not matter to others at all.

When I came back from the exam in the afternoon, I posted something on Moments. I felt exhausted, so I lay down to rest.

I got up at six and opened my phone. I checked WeChat, but there were no messages. That post on Moments had already been pushed all the way down. There are hundreds of friends in my circle, each with all kinds of lives, yet I always feel that no one cares about me.

Since starting university, I’ve become more and more hesitant about posting on Moments: “Will writing this make me seem overly sentimental?” “Will people think I’m showing off something by posting this?” From choosing the pictures to writing the caption, even after carefully preparing a post, I still have to deliberate for a long time over whether to publish it. Many times, I even delete it without saving a draft.

In the evening, I was on the road with a few friends. They were talking about topics I didn’t really understand. I tried to join in and said something, but no one paid any attention to me. The atmosphere became extremely awkward, and I’m quite afraid of that feeling of being ignored. I always hope that some people will notice me, and that I can take part in other people’s lives, but it seems that I’m always somewhat out of place in this prosperous world.

That’s all.

The evening of Christmas Eve actually isn’t all that miserable. I won’t eat a Christmas tree on Christmas Day tomorrow, nor will I receive any Christmas presents. I still have to go to class if I’m supposed to, and I still have to work my shift if I’m scheduled to. A few days from now, it will be a relaxing weekend again.